...

My iPod refuses to play a song from the Queer Eye sound track... I love you iPod, thank you for looking out for me!PS... it's LJ night at TH... suuuuuuuuuper stoked on this!

Indapendance Day

Happy 4th of July to all of you. I will be hosting a Slosh Ball game, one pm at IV Elem. Should be a blast, should have a fair share of gay drama (the fag hags have been acting up again and Jeremy and I are about to lay the smack down), i should be pretty drunk.Anyways, have fun and be safe!

Ew, sic...

Ew, sick...Mexican gardner was masterbating while watching me in the shower!I will have him fired...He's ass, like his trade, is grass!

Gay and Yuppie!

Today I had the gayest/yuppiest thought EVER!Ahem..."God Damn it, Stair Master is so hard without iPod!"I'm sure there is a special place in hell for people like me.

I turned ...

I turned 21 about 3 months ago...WHERE THE FUCK IS MY TRUST FUND?!?!?!?!?seriously, I know it is a little far off, and only the .01% of the general populous has one, but why shouldn't I be one of those people? Give me one good reason.And if there is no trust fund in store... where is my rich aunt or uncle or grandpa or something... go ahead and die, and leave everything to me.

Robots

Yes there were robots in the pool this weekend and i got to lifeguard them. The ROV's (remote operated vehicles) were built by schools spanning the nation and Canada. I thought it would be awesome and exciting but man was I wrong!Let's talk about nerds. It was defcon 5 Nerd Alert! I have never seen so many pairs of glass with clip on sun shades in my life. It was like a Trekkie pool party. And furthermore, the "robots" weren't even cool. They looked like erector sets strapped to PVC piping. All of them were some how Borg inspired, swimming boxes of lameness. I wanted them to look like sharks... or even a submarine... but no.And were any of them cute, yes. one.but sadly, he was a new student looking at the pool during campus orientation and really had no place there.Consequentially, I did get a free lunch out of it and did get to practice my first aid... one of the nerds manages to cut himself with a screwdriver.

Tigerwhat?

So yeah, Tiger Heat was super fun. My co-worker Olivia and I had a blast. We met a tag-a-long named Danny... he never left us alone, but did buy us drinks. O and I made it home around 430... I was in bed by 530 after dealing with irate drunken men banging at my door misakanly. After waking up at 8am to lifeguard robots (more on this later) we re-assess what else was sleeping in my bed...*a speedo*four books*one notebook*an embroidery hoop*three pairs of jeans*two backpacks*fabric softener*one swimming lessons folder*a cowboy hat*one shoeand...*the Boardgame "Operation"what was missing? I freaking hot boy.ADDITION:I found these items later...*a pack of cards*a electronic spellchecker*a belt*leather conditioner*an ace bandage*a spoon*glasses cleaner*a spool of thread*a reporters notebook*a birthday card*aaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddddddddd about a pound of sand! Yeah!

Well kids... afte...

Well kids... after a hellish week, I finally moved and got my internet back in order. The second week of summer is going along swimmingly... 12 units... Womanism, Contemporary Photo, Independant studies (I am writing a book... lol). but yeah, life is good.PS... TIGERHEAT tonight!!! come come COME!check my AIM for the phone number.

Justin le...

Justin left for italy 3 hours ago... what will I do for the next 2 months with no Gay cohort at the pool? Come home soon!

People are people...

I love Live Journal... so much so that I don't think I will renew my account. Here is a short list why:*Live Journal is a little world of it's own... real people do not exist here*Most of the people who use LJ are ugly, and have no social skills*I'll bet you 10 bucks that if I saw any of the guys who make rude, gay remarks, smarmy as they are, wouldn't do shit if I saw them in person... a false sense of confidence is pathetic.*People are crass, people are boring, people are taultry... and so are their journals.*People are ugly... and so are their pictures... the ones brave enough to show their face.*If the opportunity for a LJ party came about, no one would go, except for maybe 3 or 4 people I know personally, because some most would stay home anxiously awaiting the first post to comment on.*Although, the golden few of you are hot as shit... you know who you are!While I am not deleting my account, no sir, I will no longer pay for something so lame. That money is best spent in the real world...or on porn sites.

I ha...

I have gotten way too much sun for it to only be the third day of summer.I am the same color as my DARK BROWN UGG BOOTS! This was pointed out to me by my waiter at Chevy's... I need to NEVER LIFEGUARD AGAIN!

Fun thing...

Fun things going on in My life...* Hot new lifeguard is a possible Mo* Two days into summer and I ain't sunburnt!* Moving in four days... It's cute, it's pink, it's "La Bunderosa Grande!"* Blair got us a pink couch to match!* In the shower yesterday I saw two interesting things... a. The smallest penis on a man EVER... his naked son's was twice the size (the son was 4 or 5) b. One of my gym crushes was also naked... and a little chubby for showering!*There is a retarded kid who comes to the pool, each day his care taker brings in a new, SUPERFUCKINGHOT guy to play with the kid. I want her job! * Jenn and Brad were spotted again at CantinaThis is neither fun nor amusing... I have no life... I work too much... can't wait for next week when everyone comes back!

Too much sun!

Last night, after a strenuous day of lifeguarding and swim instructing, I dreamt I was in a horrific fight with my good friend/employer David Beckham. Who knows what the fight was about but it was big enough that I wanted nothing to do with that fucking selfish asshole ever again. But poor Victoria... all she wanted was for us to put our petty differences behind us. Not for the sake of my babysitting career, but for our friendship. I woke up before I had made up but I feel we were moving to resolve things.Anyways, the real point of this story it just to say that when I glanced at this months Vanity Fair all I could think of is how I missed babysitting for Posh and Beck.

If I Were Straight...

Tonight I went out to see all the crazies on State Street. As was expected, the cheering throngs were spilling out into the street. Consorting with this confounded gaggle left me with one very strong feeling, that being the fact that if I were straight, I would NEVER get laid!As I am standing at the bar at Q's Sushi-A-GoGo a nice young girl approaches me clad in a hot pink college skirt. We get to talking, classes, profs, Isla Vista... the usual. But then she stops me dead sentence and exclaims "wow, you have beautiful teeth!"What do I say? "Yeah, I know."I get a strange look and she is gone in a huff of J Lo Glow. What did I do? How did I kill the mood? I am at a loss. But then it hits me... Oh, she was working her "game." She thought our mind-numbingly banal conversation was flirting. Haha... no mam... not in the slightest. You see, if a gay boy were to tell me I had good teeth, he would also want to know what kind of bleach I use to keep them pearly white. He would also know how painful my braces were and guess that, like a 13 year old, I sleep with a retainer, every night. It goes the same with "nice body/hair/tan/clothes/shoes/etc" comments. We know the cost of beauty and thus, complimenting it in a "wow, you are sure purty" does nothing to degrade our hard work. No one has to tell a pretty gay boy that he is pretty because more than likely he knows its cost in money, sweat, and tears.So if that is how you straights do it, I would rather take my hand-on-the-crotch-as-I-pass-by-because-I-couldn't-find-a-better-place-to-put-it=wanna-make-out? flirting any day. Leave your small talk for the boys who don't know how to match because I just don't get it.

Patchwark Pants...

Tonight, in the midst of my finals studying madness I received an email from a Brandon... he wanted to meet up and talk about the UC London program. I was to meet him at Java Jones at 930pm... he would be the one in the "Brown Patchwork Pants." Fag!As I arrive I search the scene for the alleged BPP's. There he is, cute as a button in brown tweed, tight as shit, patchwork pants. And we are both wearing shirts from True Grit (for those who don't know Santa Barbara shopping, True Git is an Immensely expensive, yet sort of above the trend store that bi weekly robs me of my parents hard earned money... please see entry on G-Star sweatshirt for more info) Anyways, he must be gay, I could smell it in the TTYL on his e-mail.We get to talking about London, the housing, the food, school, travel, you know, bull shit.But then he brings up clubs... finally something I am truly educated in... I tell him about the hot spots, Trash, Heaven, Nag Nag Nag, G-A-Y, Ku Bar... and then he drops the bomb..."so did you, uh, hook up with lots of chicks in London?" What the fuck, are you kidding me sir?I had to spell out my homosexuality for the first time in my life. I had no idea how to even start. "well, all those clubs are pretty much GAY... hence Club G-A-Y!" Come on BPP... I almost liked you. Please, go to London and let me be the first one you email when you unsuspectingly sit on a dick![Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<img [...] "http://www.beeyeglad.com/bear%20pants%20side.jpg">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]Tonight, in the midst of my finals studying madness I received an email from a Brandon... he wanted to meet up and talk about the UC London program. I was to meet him at Java Jones at 930pm... he would be the one in the "Brown Patchwork Pants." Fag!As I arrive I search the scene for the alleged BPP's. There he is, cute as a button in brown tweed, tight as shit, patchwork pants. And we are both wearing shirts from True Grit (for those who don't know Santa Barbara shopping, True Git is an Immensely expensive, yet sort of above the trend store that bi weekly robs me of my parents hard earned money... please see entry on G-Star sweatshirt for more info) Anyways, he must be gay, I could smell it in the TTYL on his e-mail.We get to talking about London, the housing, the food, school, travel, you know, bull shit.But then he brings up clubs... finally something I am truly educated in... I tell him about the hot spots, Trash, Heaven, Nag Nag Nag, G-A-Y, Ku Bar... and then he drops the bomb..."so did you, uh, hook up with lots of chicks in London?" What the fuck, are you kidding me sir?I had to spell out my homosexuality for the first time in my life. I had no idea how to even start. "well, all those clubs are pretty much GAY... hence Club G-A-Y!" Come on BPP... I almost liked you. Please, go to London and let me be the first one you email when you unsuspectingly sit on a dick!<img src "http://www.beeyeglad.com/bear%20pants%20side.jpg">

Letter to a hottie

Dear hottie swimmer,I know we just met and all, but I have to say that I am in love with you.I guess it was a little awkward that I asked to swim in your lane because of the numerous open lanes, but as said before "I only swim backstroke in THIS lane!" But does it matter? Our paths would have crossed some other time. I just sped up the process by throwing a kick board at you to get your attention.By the way, did I mention that I like your speedo? Yes, I do. I find it very flattering. And how your ass hangs out an inch or so... so provocative. I find your tanned upper asscrack to be a huge turn on... wait, don't go.You are swimming fly today I can see. Hey, me too. And if our hands smack together... I wont mind. It will only give me greater excuse to touch your big shoulders and kindly ask you if you are ok too. Wow, what muscular shoulders you have... did you swim in high school? Yeah, me too. What High School... La Canada... oh right, it is written on your speedo in lime green (to match your goggles?) Right, I knew that before. Perhaps we could get together some other time and swim? I would like that a lot. Oh, that is your girlfriend... I guess you do have to go. I love you, you know...Nathan

I will die alone and hungry...

...according to my father.I just got off the phone with Pappa Carden and I made the HUGE mistake of telling him that it may be possible to graduate a couple of quarters early. But then, second mistake, I told him that I would probably just stay in school and walk with my class. Four years for college was promised to me and now I am a selfish asshole.He proceeds to tell me how I am completely cut off post graduation ceremony and that I better get myself a job because he is refusing to ever help me again. wow thanks Dad.He says he wants his life back... his life. He says that for the past 25 years (how long he and my mother have been married) he hasn't lived the life he has wanted and now it is his turn. Well, Fuck you dad for being such an inconvenience to you. I am sorry for the horrible way I have treated you. I mean, being on the Dean's List at a top university, what gaul. Who do I think I am? To take his money and do that... what an insult, right? Hey dad, FUCK YOU!

Weekly update...

I think i have buyers remorse. I didn't think it really happen but this $130 questionably pink G-Star sweatshirt has been making me feel guiltier than that damn child I locked under the stairs. I don't want to return it but I am A) embarrassed to wear it out and B) I think it is SO FUCKING RAD!

Let the HELL begin!

So as many of you unique quarter students know, Dead Week is here! But what exactly does that mean? For most of us, classes just blow through this week as normal, if not at triple time. New material is seemingly added seconds before final exams are taken. I do not like this.This year I think we should stage a "walk out." Come on guys and gals, join the protest, we all walk out and meet on the cafeteria lawn at 11:07am. Or we should all just drop our books instead. Wouldn't that be so funny!

...

My bread went bad, for the first time ever. I am sad and some how kind of proud. While I have no bread to make toast I am unconsciously lowering my carbohydrate intake. But I am still pretty bummed about it.

Anti-Smoking Cronicles

Well, another weekend down, still hanging on to that wagon!I went to this D list Hollywood Hills Party with somethingcatchy ... way tragic! It was Tiger Heat at its finest... only on a hill... and all the minors could drink... yeah boo. I would never allow any of those kids into my house let alone feed them and let them use my bathroom. Me and my friend left early to get real drinks at the Abby, not before we chatted it up with this guy==>Is that Jonathan Bennett of Mean Girls... why yes it is.Ok, I didn't really talk to him, BUT I did talk with this guy who looked like him and I was tricked into a half an hour conversation with him. Sources still confirm the fact that JB was indeed there... I just got a bum steer.

I miss London!

I just want to go back to the UK. Colour: I miss you!Theatre: I miss you!Centre: I miss you the most!I miss Heaven and Popstars...I miss PRET!I miss Leather Lane...I miss Wine Gums!I miss HobNobs!

Anti Smoking Cronicles

I got through Tiger Heat and the weekend without as much as a puff! Go me!of course you know I am lying... I smoked one cigarette at Tiger Heat (although I didn't buy it NOR did I light it!) as far as the weekend... I smoked a splif... which is only half tobacco... not too bad!I think I am still on the wagon.this one...

So h...

So how is it being a non smoker? HORRIBLE! I tried to buy candy cigarettes from the ice cream man but he told me they don't cell them anymore. what? when? why? What are kids suppose to smoke then? If they cannot buy real ones, why aren't they allowed to "smoke" candy ones? I don't get it. I have taken to chewing gum as an alternative to smoking... although I feel odd standing with the smokers during class breaks packing my trident on my wrist. Not the same... not as fun... not really necessary.

Anti-Smoking Cronicles

Today I am going to quit smoking... this should be super fun!

Updated for me... because no one reads this mess.

There are three crazy kids in my house from PA... they have strange ways of doing most everything.I was on campus from 9am till 2am... I am a loser.My stomach hurts every time I ingest something... not fun AT ALL.I want a foxy boyfriend... and a Vespa.Today I kicked a boy at the gym while he was doing sit-ups... this how I flirt... I am 21 years old.My OTHER roommate is a delusional bitch with no sense of shame. I will kill her before this is over!end of update.

Nor*Cal

Not my bit but still funny!Q: How many Nor*cal people does it take to screw in a light bulb?Give up?A: Hella!

Earthquakes!!!

I have been back in California for 5 months and in that time been in the epicenter of two Earthquakes! Fuck this state... I want to move away!

I woke up toda...

I woke up today in LA. I stayed with Philipp. There was something in my hair. But what? think think think.Oh yeah... we cut back to last night...Pan right on to Nathan... fumbling with a lighter. He is drunk. It is late. He is in West Hollywood. We hear his thoughts..."I want to smoke a cigarette. But wait, I just put this gum in my mouth. I know, I'll put it behind my ear (as Violet in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory did)! Oh look, something shiney..."As he trails off we see a close up of the bright green gum tucked neatly behind his ear.Fade to that same green mashed in blonde hair. And the circle is complete!God damn me.

this is my life... why?

seesideguy11 (11:01:32 PM): $?donnydrunko (11:01:44 PM): what?seesideguy11 (11:01:55 PM): are you interested in makin quick money?donnydrunko (11:02:04 PM): what are you getting at?seesideguy11 (11:02:16 PM): i wanna swallowdonnydrunko (11:02:29 PM): are you being serious?seesideguy11 (11:02:37 PM): yesdonnydrunko (11:03:01 PM): lets break this down... you want to pay me to let you give me headseesideguy11 (11:03:11 PM): yeahdonnydrunko (11:03:21 PM): are you fucking kidding me?seesideguy11 (11:03:28 PM): i am seriousdonnydrunko (11:04:36 PM): you are propositioning medonnydrunko (11:04:46 PM): what is wrong with youseesideguy11 (11:04:57 PM): so you are not interested?donnydrunko (11:05:05 PM): what do you think?donnydrunko (11:05:22 PM): if i said yes that would make me a whoredonnydrunko (11:05:48 PM): and frankly, i cannot believe that you even have the audacity to ask something like thatseesideguy11 (11:06:19 PM): i am seriousseesideguy11 (11:06:24 PM): i just wanna give you headdonnydrunko (11:06:36 PM): you are a fucked up ladseesideguy11 (11:06:50 PM): do you have more pics?donnydrunko (11:07:57 PM): what... nodonnydrunko (11:08:00 PM): not for youseesideguy11 (11:08:04 PM): $100donnydrunko (11:08:11 PM): please bitchseesideguy11 (11:08:17 PM): ok byedonnydrunko (11:08:23 PM): yeah... fuck off

sofa king hot!

in light of recent events (e.g., the ridiculously hot weather we are having) I have decided to tell each and every one of you why my life sucks!A. broken pool... no work but no swimming eitherB. broken weight room... no hot guys plus atrophyC. hot nights... sweaty sheets, no coffee, I cannot breath, I cannot seeD. Surf wax melts... all over my fucking truck!E. Hair wax melts... all over my fucking bathroomF. refrigerator as a makeshift air conditioner... my roommates are stupid stupid peopleG. topless roomates... i have NO DESIRE to see Denis' tits!this is what the boy down stairs looks like... eeew!

Shake it like a salt shaker!

I don't know about you guys but I have a problem with the Yin Yang Twinz song "Saltshaker."Ooooo...Shawty crunk on the floor wide openSkeet so much they call her billy oceanRoll, like a 18-wheelerThat hoe fine, but this hoe a killa'She leakin', she soakin' wetShe leakin', soakin' wetthe problem lies in the second line. Now I'm not overly literal, but Skeet so much they call her billy ocean? Lets break that down, shall we?skeet=Billy Ocean=huh... now doesn't that make sence to you too?

What am I doing here?

Alright boys and girls... I have no idea what in God's name I am doing here? Not a freakin' clue! I figured my internal monologue should be heard by more than just myself... plus it is a little birthday present to myself. What will come of this... I have no clue.fame?glamour?riches?bad grades?I am going to go with the latter. But at least I might improve my writing skills... or my WPM.And if you are wondering about the name... OMGyea was an inside joke between several people a barely know and to which I was definitely on the outside of. If there weren't so freaking many of you damn LJers... maybe I would have gotten my first choice: BoxOfficePoison. Or maybe my 9th choice: HelpfulCorn*. But I got lucky with 10. And OMGyea will stay until I forget about this whole thing. I give it a week.*If you remember back to the days of Daria... in the episode "Alterna-Paluza" Trent is trying to rename his band Mystic Spiral because Daria brings up the point that it sounds somewhat like a Doors cover band. Well... the band mate cleverly suggests Helpful Corn (probably with some sort of backward lettering or misspelling). But someone has that too... so fuck them and fuck you too!